That Time I Got Snot All Over My Keyboard

Two years.  It's been two years nearly to the day that I've posted on our family blog and I will tell you...the sorrow and guilt behind that rendered me disabled for about ten minutes while I cried the ugly cry looking back over my last few posts.  My big girl was still a toddler baby the last time I posted!  Knife to the heart.

I don't know what made me want to start writing again.  Let's blame the pregnancy hormones.  They are usually the culprit these days.

Wait...I should back up...

The last time I posted we were rocking along as a little family of three.  Just doing life.  And we still are!  Just now, our toddler is a big five year old who I registered for Kindergarten not two weeks ago.   Oh.  And there's the fact that we will soon transition from a family of three to a family of FOUR!  Most everyone reading this already knows this (I'm already seven and half months pregnant at this point) but for blogsperity's sake, I felt the need for this little sentence :).  We are expecting Ms. Emerson Claire in eight weeks!  All three of us are getting anxious and very excited!

But you know what...it is what it is.  I've missed a lot of documenting but we've done a lot of living, too.  Here's what's been up the last couple of years:

Carson

There is so much to say about our sweet Ladybug.  She is our light, our joy, our laughter, our gift.  The snot was for her.  I've missed out documenting her past two years. (Well....let's be honest.  I was never consistent in blogging about her first three years either!)  Either way, it makes me sad.  I vow to do better while still knowing that life happens and I'll likely have to force-feed myself a large dose of grace when I fall back off the blogging wagon again.  It's going to be impossible to pick up right where I left off, so I'll just start the only place I know to start...today.

Right now, Carson is with her Daddy in his Man Cave playing Barbies.  (Can we all just pause for a moment while this Momma's heart smiles that my girl loves playing with Barbies?!...)  She was our shy, timid girl for a long time.  She dared not venture too far into the unknown (or too loud, or too high, or too "new").  She clung tightly to her Momma and Daddy there for a while...

Well...that has changed.

I would almost call her daring these days.  She definitely is better at being outgoing and making new friends than her dad and I.  We are awkward, tongue-tied introverts around new people and situations.  Just a few weeks ago at church I watched her walk up to a group of kids of all ages and say, "Hey guys!  Whatcha up to?  I'm Carson."  Who is this child?  I've often prayed she would be cautious but adventurous and willing to put herself out there.  God is funny sometimes how He makes up for what us parents lack.  Seeing her so confident makes my heart want to burst.  She will not have the same struggles her dad and I had.  I'm so thankful for that.

Mind you, her heart has not changed.  She has the biggest, most sensitive and loving little heart I've ever known in anyone.  She feels deeply, loves deeply, and lives deeply.  We might go ahead and label some of this as DRAMATIC FLARE (because, make no mistake, we. have. the. drama.) but I also chalk it up to her just being our little swirl of emotion and feelings.  She has ALL the feelings, y'all.  But it's precious to me.  I do not have to guess that she loves her Momma.  Who else comes and kisses me on the nose and says out-of-the-blue, "Momma.  I love you more than double rainbows!"?  No one else, that's who. (Here comes the snot again...)  Love. Her.

Did I mention the drama?  Because we have it.  Listen.  (No really...listen.)  John and I are frightened for the teen years.  Truly terrified.  I hope all our friends with teens are taking good notes and planning on writing books because ... oh the fear.  I say that in jest (sort of), but we do have a certain flare around here for the dramatics.  Carson has a special skill set, the likes of which I have never seen.  Sister can drum up crocodile tears faster than I can blink.  I'm talking, REAL tears complete with the throwing up of the hands and the weakening of the knees while gnashing of teeth and wailing accompany.  If we owned a fainting couch, it would have needed to be replaced by now from overuse.  (Disclaimer:  I'm not exactly sure what an actual fainting couch's original purpose was supposed to be.  But it sounds dramatic.  And southern.  And we've got both goin' on 'round these parts.)

Here are some current trends in our house right now:

• Barbies.  I know I mentioned this, but it's so fun to watch her now.  She now actually makes up little back stories and her dolls have dialogue.  Usually there is some sort of conflict involved.  So fun to watch.
• Singing.  This girl loves to sing and make up songs.  She "speaks" in song often times, as if she is the star of her very own Truman Show (Broadway style).  She makes up songs about anything and everything.  Some of them make no sense whatsoever.  But sometimes she comes up with something so profound, I'd swear I need to call Harvard immediately.  Deep.
• Technology.  Girlfriend can work it on an iPad or iPhone.  
• Church & Faith.  Carson has really grown and blossomed in this area lately.  More especially in the last six months or so.  She recites bible stories like the characters go to school with her (so personal) and randomly spouts off some statement that leaves my jaw on the floor.  "Mom, Jesus got that sin all over him on the cross and it really did hurt his heart.  Did you know your sin was on him too?"  Uhhhhhhhhhhh.  Yes.  And I think you just preached a sermon.  She really has taught me so much about the simplicity of a childlike faith.  Adults can so mess up Christianity these days.  We kind of stink at it.  I have taken my cues from her lately.
• Disney.  We still love Disney around here.  The last couple months she has been really bringing up our trip to Disney (last May, 2013) and drumming up our memories.  It's fun to hear her talk about the magic. :)  Our current favs are Sophia the First, Doc McStuffins, and any Disney classic movie.
• Friends.  It's been so neat to see her little friendships grow and change.  It is bittersweet since after this year we will be leaving most all of our sweet friends at First Methodist and moving on to Kindergarten.  (Insert snot here.  Again.)  Just today she told me, "Me and Meagan did the best and funniest thing at school today!  We talked in "cow" all day!  Moooooo!"  Okay then.  Five year olds are funny.  So are their friendships.  Yesterday she told me, "I tried to tell the boys at lunch that I was going to be gone for Spring Break, but I ranned out of time."  I love how she thinks about things she wants to tell her friends.  
• Wanting to Read.  We are ready!  She desperately wants to learn to read.  She does pretty good at decoding words right now and gets excited when she can read a word or two here and there on her own.  I feel like I could have had her reading way earlier and I have a bit of momma/teacher guilt that I didn't work with her more at home.  But I'm okay with that.  If there's one thing I've learned in being a momma it's that there is no use in rushing anything.  
• Independence.  "I'll do it by.my.selth."  No, that's not a typo.  It's how she pronounces "self" and it just makes my insides giddy when I hear it!  John is always quick to train her to say words correctly, but for some reason that feels like one of the last little pieces of her baby-ness and I'm clinging on tight.  It's one of the only words she still mispronounces (I can't even think of others right now) and I want so desperately for time to freeze.  Seriously though, she loves doing things by herselth and usually she is quite capable!  
• NOT Cleaning Up.  I have failed to pass on the organized and clutter-free gene to my child.  Sigh.  Carson does not enjoy the cleaning up of it all.  Meanwhile, I feel like Cruella Devil around here muttering over and over, "One toy out at a time.  One toy out at a time."  She's getting better.  But it's not because she enjoys it, that's for sure.
• Praying.  She will pray about anything and everything.  (Yesterday it was for a hat of some kind...I forget now.)  Usually it's not for things and not a whole lot for other people...but for herself and how she is viewing life right now.  Don't get me wrong...her big heart prompts her to pray for those she loves where she sees the need.  But most of her prayers involve not having bad dreams, helping her boo-boos to "heal up all the way, God!", or not to be scared in new situations.  She will sometimes even wake me up at night to ask me to pray for this or that.  Lately, she loves hearing me pray over her.  Admittedly, this is something I haven't done often enough.  I pray for her constantly, but not often aloud so that she can hear.  I need to do better at this because her heart obviously needs it!  Sometimes I will pass her room and see her still awake.  When I ask why she's still awake she'll say sweetly, "Momma, I'm waiting for you to pray with me."  
• ARTS & CRAFTS!!!  Why this isn't the first thing on the list I don't know.  But y'all, this little crafter is serious.  She now has her very own "craft cabinet" in the hallway, just like Momma's big craft cabinet.  It is visited daily.  She can grab a handful of seemingly unrelated crafty objects and bits and go to town.  It is by far her favorite thing at the moment.
• Playing Doctor.  This one has slacked off in the past few months, but it's still a favorite.  She has a "Dr. Cart" that she rolls around everywhere and cares for her patients.  She has doll patients, real people patients (enter Momma and Daddy or whatever other ailed person happens to cross her path), stuffed animal patients, imaginary patients...you name it.  If they have a boo-boo or are otherwise down on their health luck, it's Dr. Carson to the rescue.  Just last night I grated my thumb on the cheese grater (yes, OUCH.) and Dr. Carson fixed me up good as new.  She definitely has an interest in the body and how it works (thank you Doc McStuffins and Magic School Bus!) and asks her Aunt SaSa medical questions all the time.  
• Knock Knock Jokes!  This girl and her jokes.  She might have gotten more than a couple of knock knock joke books for Christmas and she loves them!  She tells some good ones, too!  Most of them she makes up and they make absolutely zero sense.  But they sure do crack us all up!  This joke interest is now a year or more old and she is still going strong.  The things that make a five-year-old laugh certainly are interesting.

I'll have to do a separate post soon with pics of her favorite toys and such for memory's sake.  For now...that's what's up at our house at any given time!  She really does add so much LIFE to our home and lives.  Hearing her laughter, seeing her smile, wiping her tears, feeling her joy, leaning in to her hugs, listening to her stories and what's important in her world...this is the stuff of life.  Abundant life.  We are so honored to parent this spunky, soft-hearted little girl.  It is humbling that God would give her to US and trust us with her.  Scary, too.  We pray daily for discernment, wisdom, grace, and supernatural ability to raise her into the woman God has created her to be.  She is our love, joy, fear, excitement, craziness, hearts...all wrapped up in one little energetic body.  We love her so.

John

John is still a band director for NISD.  Last time I blogged I'm not certain where he was in his career, but he is now the head band director for McMichael Middle School here in Nac.  This year, he also took over the Nacogdoches High School concert band around November due to some staff changes and such.  We are right now smack dab in the middle of contest season.  This is normally quite a stressful and hectic time and this year is no different really...other than John will be taking TWO bands to contest, both perfectly timed with Emerson's expected arrival.  We aren't worried.  We know God's timing is perfect and that there is nothing we can add by worrying.  (I have my moments, so please don't think I'm rocking along in some blissful stress-free bubble!)  We are trusting God to take care of John's bands AND Emerson's arrival and that whatever happens, we can know He is sovereign over it.

Mind you, I don't see John direct/teach on a daily basis.  But can I just say that he is awesome?!  I love to watch him direct his bands and I love hearing his crazy middle school stories.  He really has grown so much in his career the past couple of years and I'm so proud of him.  And since I am the family blogger, I get to brag on here and he can't object (smile).

John was also baptized this past year!  That's more of his story to tell (and it's a great one), but I'll just say that God gives good gifts and I'm in awe of his blessings and the way he cares for our little family.  He gets all the glory!

John works mostly.  He leaves well before we do in the mornings and gets home hours after we do.  It's a lot of hours and I've learned that band directing is. no. joke.  They go ALL year long.  I have likely mentioned this on blog posts before.  But seriously guys.  I know coaches can relate somewhat...but even coaches have "seasons".  Band directors never stop.  They show up in mid-July heat for two-a-days (sometimes three) and they push hard until the last graduate crosses the stage in June.  They are even the last ones to leave the auditorium at graduation, busy packing up the band truck with chairs and stands.  It's a crazy life but we've fallen into a pretty good normal zone (for us anyways).  John is a hard worker for his family and that is not lost on me.

John's favorite down-time thing to do is play music (bass guitar).  He has been a part of our church's praise band for the past five years now and it's his weekly "John time".  I'm so so so thankful for our church and for this outlet for him.  I love to watch him play and praise.

Lindsey

I'm still teaching at SFA and still LOVING my job.  There really isn't much difference in college students and middle schoolers, other than I have to look up to talk to most of my college students :)  My students have definitely taught me a lot over the past five years at SFA.  (Yes...I can't believe it.  I'll get my FIVE year pin at SFA this year.  Craziness.)  It's been quite a ride and I will say I know I'm right where God wants me to be.  It is a vastly different world than public school and I'm still making adjustments because of that, but God has been so faithful to open doors for me at SFA and we are so grateful.  It really is the best job I could ask for during this season for our family.  I'm able to make my own schedule for the most part and that is such a blessing.  More to come on this...but this amazing job will allow me to stay at home with Emerson until December!  That's a whole other post... :)

I don't like to talk about this a lot because it sounds like WAY more of a big deal than it actually is...but I'm back in school and will finish up next May with my Ed.D.  It's been challenging at times being a full-time wife, a full-time mom, a full-time student, and a full-time teacher.  It has also been a blessing at how smoothly it has all lined out.  I'm two years into my program now and nearly ready to start with my dissertation.  I'm feeling good about it all at this point but your prayers are always welcomed!!!  This degree will allow me to go up for tenure with SFA in 2016.  This is both exciting and terrifying but so far, so good.  Did I mention you can feel free to send up a few prayers for me/us?!  Haha.

The only other big news about me I've already shared...I'm 32 weeks pregnant with our second daughter!  I'll do a whole other separate post for her very soon (there is a lot to tell) about my pregnancy journey this time around, our preparations for her arrival, and our prayers and hopes for our family with adding a new life.  It's been a wild ride this time around.  We'd covet your prayers as we enter into the countdown stretch!  Our prayers right now are for a full-term pregnancy (Carson was five and a half weeks early), a birth without complications of any kind, a smooth transition from a family of three to a family of FOUR, and for Carson's sweet heart to be able to ease into her new role as big sister of the family.  Also, please pray for timing in Emerson's arrival and that God's perfect plan will leave us with a peaceful knowing that He has us in the palm of His hand, no matter what.

Okay...that's everything you may or may not have wanted to know about us and our update!  I really want to try to revive my blog and keep up on here better.  Pics to come soon!  We love you all and are so thankful for sweet family and friends who love us, pray for us, support us, and cheer us on.

I'll leave you with this:

As I was wrapping up this post, this is what I heard from Carson and her Daddy...

Carson:  Dad, you're so talentive!
John:  TalentED.  The word is talented, not talentive.
Carson:  Okay!  But you are so talentive!

That made this Momma's heart smile really wide.  My baby is still around, even if for the most brief of moments.  Love her more than double rainbows.

Now to clean all this snot off my keyboard...