Kindergarten

I didn’t cry.  I’m not sure what to make of that just yet and I’m currently avoiding all phone calls because I think if I talk out loud about it, the floodgates will open.  I feel like I’m supposed to be sad, mourning for my baby that is growing too fast.  (It IS true!)  But really what I’m feeling mostly is excited!  I love the spunky, hilarious, kind-hearted, loving, dramatic, full-of-life girl she has become.  This five-and-a-half year old.  This baby girl that I love so dearly.  That is not a baby anymore. 

Today, she started kindergarten.  It’s a big deal, y’all.  More than ever before, this milestone has reminded me that she is really not mine.  She belongs to God.  I am in awe that He would allow her Daddy and I to be her parents here on this earth, to guide her, to love her, to teach her, to soak her heart in the Word, to borrow her for this short time.  His daughter.  The magnitude of that blows me away.

Oh, I worry, to be sure.  About all the things.  Will she make new friends?  She hardly knows any of the kids in her class.  Will she be able to open her pudding cup at lunch?  Those foil lids are a little tough sometimes.  Will she sit still and listen at the right times?  After all, she has been fidgety lately. (That's probably because SUMMER.  With all it's late-night sugar fests and zero bedtimes.  Ummmm. Yeah.) Will she check the slide on the playground before sliding down?  It’s so hot out, she could burn herself.  Will she like her new school?  It’s so different.  It’s great, but it’s so new.  Will the big kids be nice to her or will they scare her?  There are 7^th graders in that building!  Will she talk too much?  Her momma always did. :) Will she learn all that she needs to?  She loves science and math, but still shows no interest in even coloring inside the lines.  (That means she’s a rebel, right?  A true artist who cannot be confined by lines on a page.)  Will she have fun?  I loved school and learning.  Will she?  What will be the first heartbreak?  It’s coming.  Preschool is all glittery, everyone is a friend, they hug all day and have to be reminded not to share kisses.  Soon, feelings will be hurt and it will sting.  Will she fit in?  Will she feel confident?  Will she be scared? 

And here is the answer to all of those worries…she is not mine.  Make no mistake, I could sit here all day and tap out all the questions and the what-ifs and the fears.  There are many.  But ultimately, it comes down to ONE question.  Do I trust our God, our Abba Father, to love, protect, and comfort His daughter?  Oh, how my heart screams for her.  My flesh wants to claim all of her for my own.  She needs ME to protect her, to love her, to comfort her.  I cannot tell you the number of times the last few weeks God has whispered into my very soul. Lindsey, she belongs to me.  Let go.  You are not in control.  I could almost laugh out loud watching myself in my mind’s eye.  I can get so very busy “being the mom” and trying to grasp the proverbial carrot dangling in front of me.  I chase control as if I can see nothing else.  I just need to control.  To order our steps.  To make sure we are prepared.  I meltdown and throw fits when I “lose it”.  I seek control and think once I have it, everything will fall into place.  My daughter.  You cannot lose what you never had to begin with.  Life is messy.  You are no good for this chaotic world.  If you could see with my eyes, my birds-eye-view, you would remember to remember Me.  If you could bring order, you would never need Me.  Sweet child, you cannot do this alone.  Stop thrashing about.  Stop running.  Stop the busy-ness.  I am here.  I will hold you.  I will hold Carson.  I am not moving.  It’s okay, daughter.  It’s okay.

Okay, so after typing all this out, I did end up crying.  It’s scary!  I have fears!  I worry!  I AM A MOM!  But He is my Abba Father.  And Carson’s.  When I let myself remember that, I can find that excited place again.  That place that cannot wait to hear how her day went.  That place that makes me excited for the “big kid” years to come.  I’m so excited and ready for the seasons to come!  I am so enjoying the seasons that are here, too.  But there is excitement and a new horizon.  Bring it!

Because, let’s face it.  I’m still hormonal.  I can still see the backside of pregnancy.  It’s walking away, but it hasn’t left the building yet.  I’m tired.  I’ve got a million things on my to-do list (not one of them writing this post, mind you).  There are little kids hanging on me all day, calling my name again and again, needing me.  There are dinners to throw in the crock pot, people’s underwear to wash, little people’s hineys to wipe.  There is work to be done…emails to write, phone calls to make, appointments to meet, demands to address.  There are hard things.  And joyful things.  And tiring things.  Exhausting things.  Energizing things.  Moments flash before my eyes like a moving train.  It’s a blur.  My family calendar alone is enough to buy you a one-way ticket to Crazy Town.  It’s a fast moving train that doesn’t stop until next June.  But the new season brings excitement, renewal, possibility.  Today was the very first toe over the starting line to this new season for us.  (And you thought it was “just” Kindergarten.)

My Sweet Carson,

Right now you are probably eating your morning snack.  I find myself wondering who you are sitting next to and what you might be chatting about.  I’m thinking about you every second today.  I am praying for you!  Remember your verse today!  {Psalm 56:3}

The house sure is quiet with just Sister and me here to fill it!  Don’t worry, I remembered to rub her hand the way she likes, just like you taught me.  I didn't forget to do “all the things you do” with her today so that she wouldn't miss you too badly.  Oh, my girl.  You are the sweetest big sister.

Momma and Daddy are so very proud of you.  You are truly a big girl now and we are just so so so happy that we can share this life with you.  You bring us joy.  You make us laugh. (You are SO FUNNY!)  You make us crazy sometimes, too!  You make us feel closer to God.  You teach us.  You have changed us.  You are a gift from God and we are so very thankful to Him who has given us more than we could ever earn or deserve. 

I cannot wait to come pick you up and hear all about your day! 

I love you more than double rainbows.

Momma

{The night before Kindergarten.  She had "jitter glitter" all over her!}

 {I am excited she is reading more and can't wait until I can write more lengthy notes!}

{The obligatory "first day" pics.  She was kinda over it and just ready to GO!  

Hence, the silly pic on the right.}

{So so so thankful for our precious, Godly school.  

It is full of teachers and staff that love Jesus, love our kids, and teach them academically and spiritually.  

Thank you, FHBA!  We already love you to pieces!}

{Excitement doesn't even begin to cover it.}

{So cute I can hardly stand it.}

{Sweet Mrs. Owen who patiently let me snap a quick pic even though there were a thousand things going on.  Love her.  Trust her completely and thank God for a Godly, praying, Jesus-loving teacher!}

We are praying over our school, students, teachers, staff, and administration.  We pray that God will use FHBA to speak Truth and Life into our children.  We pray for obedience and an eagerness to learn for the students, for wisdom for the teachers, and grace for all!  Let's get this year started!

That Time I Got Snot All Over My Keyboard

Two years.  It's been two years nearly to the day that I've posted on our family blog and I will tell you...the sorrow and guilt behind that rendered me disabled for about ten minutes while I cried the ugly cry looking back over my last few posts.  My big girl was still a toddler baby the last time I posted!  Knife to the heart.

I don't know what made me want to start writing again.  Let's blame the pregnancy hormones.  They are usually the culprit these days.

Wait...I should back up...

The last time I posted we were rocking along as a little family of three.  Just doing life.  And we still are!  Just now, our toddler is a big five year old who I registered for Kindergarten not two weeks ago.   Oh.  And there's the fact that we will soon transition from a family of three to a family of FOUR!  Most everyone reading this already knows this (I'm already seven and half months pregnant at this point) but for blogsperity's sake, I felt the need for this little sentence :).  We are expecting Ms. Emerson Claire in eight weeks!  All three of us are getting anxious and very excited!

But you know what...it is what it is.  I've missed a lot of documenting but we've done a lot of living, too.  Here's what's been up the last couple of years:

Carson

There is so much to say about our sweet Ladybug.  She is our light, our joy, our laughter, our gift.  The snot was for her.  I've missed out documenting her past two years. (Well....let's be honest.  I was never consistent in blogging about her first three years either!)  Either way, it makes me sad.  I vow to do better while still knowing that life happens and I'll likely have to force-feed myself a large dose of grace when I fall back off the blogging wagon again.  It's going to be impossible to pick up right where I left off, so I'll just start the only place I know to start...today.

Right now, Carson is with her Daddy in his Man Cave playing Barbies.  (Can we all just pause for a moment while this Momma's heart smiles that my girl loves playing with Barbies?!...)  She was our shy, timid girl for a long time.  She dared not venture too far into the unknown (or too loud, or too high, or too "new").  She clung tightly to her Momma and Daddy there for a while...

Well...that has changed.

I would almost call her daring these days.  She definitely is better at being outgoing and making new friends than her dad and I.  We are awkward, tongue-tied introverts around new people and situations.  Just a few weeks ago at church I watched her walk up to a group of kids of all ages and say, "Hey guys!  Whatcha up to?  I'm Carson."  Who is this child?  I've often prayed she would be cautious but adventurous and willing to put herself out there.  God is funny sometimes how He makes up for what us parents lack.  Seeing her so confident makes my heart want to burst.  She will not have the same struggles her dad and I had.  I'm so thankful for that.

Mind you, her heart has not changed.  She has the biggest, most sensitive and loving little heart I've ever known in anyone.  She feels deeply, loves deeply, and lives deeply.  We might go ahead and label some of this as DRAMATIC FLARE (because, make no mistake, we. have. the. drama.) but I also chalk it up to her just being our little swirl of emotion and feelings.  She has ALL the feelings, y'all.  But it's precious to me.  I do not have to guess that she loves her Momma.  Who else comes and kisses me on the nose and says out-of-the-blue, "Momma.  I love you more than double rainbows!"?  No one else, that's who. (Here comes the snot again...)  Love. Her.

Did I mention the drama?  Because we have it.  Listen.  (No really...listen.)  John and I are frightened for the teen years.  Truly terrified.  I hope all our friends with teens are taking good notes and planning on writing books because ... oh the fear.  I say that in jest (sort of), but we do have a certain flare around here for the dramatics.  Carson has a special skill set, the likes of which I have never seen.  Sister can drum up crocodile tears faster than I can blink.  I'm talking, REAL tears complete with the throwing up of the hands and the weakening of the knees while gnashing of teeth and wailing accompany.  If we owned a fainting couch, it would have needed to be replaced by now from overuse.  (Disclaimer:  I'm not exactly sure what an actual fainting couch's original purpose was supposed to be.  But it sounds dramatic.  And southern.  And we've got both goin' on 'round these parts.)

Here are some current trends in our house right now:

• Barbies.  I know I mentioned this, but it's so fun to watch her now.  She now actually makes up little back stories and her dolls have dialogue.  Usually there is some sort of conflict involved.  So fun to watch.
• Singing.  This girl loves to sing and make up songs.  She "speaks" in song often times, as if she is the star of her very own Truman Show (Broadway style).  She makes up songs about anything and everything.  Some of them make no sense whatsoever.  But sometimes she comes up with something so profound, I'd swear I need to call Harvard immediately.  Deep.
• Technology.  Girlfriend can work it on an iPad or iPhone.  
• Church & Faith.  Carson has really grown and blossomed in this area lately.  More especially in the last six months or so.  She recites bible stories like the characters go to school with her (so personal) and randomly spouts off some statement that leaves my jaw on the floor.  "Mom, Jesus got that sin all over him on the cross and it really did hurt his heart.  Did you know your sin was on him too?"  Uhhhhhhhhhhh.  Yes.  And I think you just preached a sermon.  She really has taught me so much about the simplicity of a childlike faith.  Adults can so mess up Christianity these days.  We kind of stink at it.  I have taken my cues from her lately.
• Disney.  We still love Disney around here.  The last couple months she has been really bringing up our trip to Disney (last May, 2013) and drumming up our memories.  It's fun to hear her talk about the magic. :)  Our current favs are Sophia the First, Doc McStuffins, and any Disney classic movie.
• Friends.  It's been so neat to see her little friendships grow and change.  It is bittersweet since after this year we will be leaving most all of our sweet friends at First Methodist and moving on to Kindergarten.  (Insert snot here.  Again.)  Just today she told me, "Me and Meagan did the best and funniest thing at school today!  We talked in "cow" all day!  Moooooo!"  Okay then.  Five year olds are funny.  So are their friendships.  Yesterday she told me, "I tried to tell the boys at lunch that I was going to be gone for Spring Break, but I ranned out of time."  I love how she thinks about things she wants to tell her friends.  
• Wanting to Read.  We are ready!  She desperately wants to learn to read.  She does pretty good at decoding words right now and gets excited when she can read a word or two here and there on her own.  I feel like I could have had her reading way earlier and I have a bit of momma/teacher guilt that I didn't work with her more at home.  But I'm okay with that.  If there's one thing I've learned in being a momma it's that there is no use in rushing anything.  
• Independence.  "I'll do it by.my.selth."  No, that's not a typo.  It's how she pronounces "self" and it just makes my insides giddy when I hear it!  John is always quick to train her to say words correctly, but for some reason that feels like one of the last little pieces of her baby-ness and I'm clinging on tight.  It's one of the only words she still mispronounces (I can't even think of others right now) and I want so desperately for time to freeze.  Seriously though, she loves doing things by herselth and usually she is quite capable!  
• NOT Cleaning Up.  I have failed to pass on the organized and clutter-free gene to my child.  Sigh.  Carson does not enjoy the cleaning up of it all.  Meanwhile, I feel like Cruella Devil around here muttering over and over, "One toy out at a time.  One toy out at a time."  She's getting better.  But it's not because she enjoys it, that's for sure.
• Praying.  She will pray about anything and everything.  (Yesterday it was for a hat of some kind...I forget now.)  Usually it's not for things and not a whole lot for other people...but for herself and how she is viewing life right now.  Don't get me wrong...her big heart prompts her to pray for those she loves where she sees the need.  But most of her prayers involve not having bad dreams, helping her boo-boos to "heal up all the way, God!", or not to be scared in new situations.  She will sometimes even wake me up at night to ask me to pray for this or that.  Lately, she loves hearing me pray over her.  Admittedly, this is something I haven't done often enough.  I pray for her constantly, but not often aloud so that she can hear.  I need to do better at this because her heart obviously needs it!  Sometimes I will pass her room and see her still awake.  When I ask why she's still awake she'll say sweetly, "Momma, I'm waiting for you to pray with me."  
• ARTS & CRAFTS!!!  Why this isn't the first thing on the list I don't know.  But y'all, this little crafter is serious.  She now has her very own "craft cabinet" in the hallway, just like Momma's big craft cabinet.  It is visited daily.  She can grab a handful of seemingly unrelated crafty objects and bits and go to town.  It is by far her favorite thing at the moment.
• Playing Doctor.  This one has slacked off in the past few months, but it's still a favorite.  She has a "Dr. Cart" that she rolls around everywhere and cares for her patients.  She has doll patients, real people patients (enter Momma and Daddy or whatever other ailed person happens to cross her path), stuffed animal patients, imaginary patients...you name it.  If they have a boo-boo or are otherwise down on their health luck, it's Dr. Carson to the rescue.  Just last night I grated my thumb on the cheese grater (yes, OUCH.) and Dr. Carson fixed me up good as new.  She definitely has an interest in the body and how it works (thank you Doc McStuffins and Magic School Bus!) and asks her Aunt SaSa medical questions all the time.  
• Knock Knock Jokes!  This girl and her jokes.  She might have gotten more than a couple of knock knock joke books for Christmas and she loves them!  She tells some good ones, too!  Most of them she makes up and they make absolutely zero sense.  But they sure do crack us all up!  This joke interest is now a year or more old and she is still going strong.  The things that make a five-year-old laugh certainly are interesting.

I'll have to do a separate post soon with pics of her favorite toys and such for memory's sake.  For now...that's what's up at our house at any given time!  She really does add so much LIFE to our home and lives.  Hearing her laughter, seeing her smile, wiping her tears, feeling her joy, leaning in to her hugs, listening to her stories and what's important in her world...this is the stuff of life.  Abundant life.  We are so honored to parent this spunky, soft-hearted little girl.  It is humbling that God would give her to US and trust us with her.  Scary, too.  We pray daily for discernment, wisdom, grace, and supernatural ability to raise her into the woman God has created her to be.  She is our love, joy, fear, excitement, craziness, hearts...all wrapped up in one little energetic body.  We love her so.

John

John is still a band director for NISD.  Last time I blogged I'm not certain where he was in his career, but he is now the head band director for McMichael Middle School here in Nac.  This year, he also took over the Nacogdoches High School concert band around November due to some staff changes and such.  We are right now smack dab in the middle of contest season.  This is normally quite a stressful and hectic time and this year is no different really...other than John will be taking TWO bands to contest, both perfectly timed with Emerson's expected arrival.  We aren't worried.  We know God's timing is perfect and that there is nothing we can add by worrying.  (I have my moments, so please don't think I'm rocking along in some blissful stress-free bubble!)  We are trusting God to take care of John's bands AND Emerson's arrival and that whatever happens, we can know He is sovereign over it.

Mind you, I don't see John direct/teach on a daily basis.  But can I just say that he is awesome?!  I love to watch him direct his bands and I love hearing his crazy middle school stories.  He really has grown so much in his career the past couple of years and I'm so proud of him.  And since I am the family blogger, I get to brag on here and he can't object (smile).

John was also baptized this past year!  That's more of his story to tell (and it's a great one), but I'll just say that God gives good gifts and I'm in awe of his blessings and the way he cares for our little family.  He gets all the glory!

John works mostly.  He leaves well before we do in the mornings and gets home hours after we do.  It's a lot of hours and I've learned that band directing is. no. joke.  They go ALL year long.  I have likely mentioned this on blog posts before.  But seriously guys.  I know coaches can relate somewhat...but even coaches have "seasons".  Band directors never stop.  They show up in mid-July heat for two-a-days (sometimes three) and they push hard until the last graduate crosses the stage in June.  They are even the last ones to leave the auditorium at graduation, busy packing up the band truck with chairs and stands.  It's a crazy life but we've fallen into a pretty good normal zone (for us anyways).  John is a hard worker for his family and that is not lost on me.

John's favorite down-time thing to do is play music (bass guitar).  He has been a part of our church's praise band for the past five years now and it's his weekly "John time".  I'm so so so thankful for our church and for this outlet for him.  I love to watch him play and praise.

Lindsey

I'm still teaching at SFA and still LOVING my job.  There really isn't much difference in college students and middle schoolers, other than I have to look up to talk to most of my college students :)  My students have definitely taught me a lot over the past five years at SFA.  (Yes...I can't believe it.  I'll get my FIVE year pin at SFA this year.  Craziness.)  It's been quite a ride and I will say I know I'm right where God wants me to be.  It is a vastly different world than public school and I'm still making adjustments because of that, but God has been so faithful to open doors for me at SFA and we are so grateful.  It really is the best job I could ask for during this season for our family.  I'm able to make my own schedule for the most part and that is such a blessing.  More to come on this...but this amazing job will allow me to stay at home with Emerson until December!  That's a whole other post... :)

I don't like to talk about this a lot because it sounds like WAY more of a big deal than it actually is...but I'm back in school and will finish up next May with my Ed.D.  It's been challenging at times being a full-time wife, a full-time mom, a full-time student, and a full-time teacher.  It has also been a blessing at how smoothly it has all lined out.  I'm two years into my program now and nearly ready to start with my dissertation.  I'm feeling good about it all at this point but your prayers are always welcomed!!!  This degree will allow me to go up for tenure with SFA in 2016.  This is both exciting and terrifying but so far, so good.  Did I mention you can feel free to send up a few prayers for me/us?!  Haha.

The only other big news about me I've already shared...I'm 32 weeks pregnant with our second daughter!  I'll do a whole other separate post for her very soon (there is a lot to tell) about my pregnancy journey this time around, our preparations for her arrival, and our prayers and hopes for our family with adding a new life.  It's been a wild ride this time around.  We'd covet your prayers as we enter into the countdown stretch!  Our prayers right now are for a full-term pregnancy (Carson was five and a half weeks early), a birth without complications of any kind, a smooth transition from a family of three to a family of FOUR, and for Carson's sweet heart to be able to ease into her new role as big sister of the family.  Also, please pray for timing in Emerson's arrival and that God's perfect plan will leave us with a peaceful knowing that He has us in the palm of His hand, no matter what.

Okay...that's everything you may or may not have wanted to know about us and our update!  I really want to try to revive my blog and keep up on here better.  Pics to come soon!  We love you all and are so thankful for sweet family and friends who love us, pray for us, support us, and cheer us on.

I'll leave you with this:

As I was wrapping up this post, this is what I heard from Carson and her Daddy...

Carson:  Dad, you're so talentive!
John:  TalentED.  The word is talented, not talentive.
Carson:  Okay!  But you are so talentive!

That made this Momma's heart smile really wide.  My baby is still around, even if for the most brief of moments.  Love her more than double rainbows.

Now to clean all this snot off my keyboard...

The Things She Says

Sometimes I look at Carson and suddenly think, wow...she's suddenly BIGGER.  Physically, yes.  (I bought this child new pants in December and got them a tad too long.  I had to buy her all new pants at the beginning of this month and they are just long enough at the next size.  Heavens.  And don't even get me started about her feet.)

But more spiritually, mentally, and academically.  Those words sound too big of words to use to talk about a three year old, but we are there.  Our baby bug is THREE.  Geez.  Mommas, can you please heave a collective and bittersweet sigh with me?

She says things EVERY day I want to remember and everyone tells me in their been-there-forgot-that Momma wisdom to write them down.  Great idea in theory...quite another in the real world of work, making lunches and dinners, giving baths, doing laundry, etc.  I just don't do enough recording like I want.

With a couple of things fresh on my mind, I want to get them down.

So, following are some of the latest Carson-isms.  (*Disclaimer...Honestly...she is the only one we have so I don't know what on earth is "normal" language for three.  But she amazes me with her sentences and the words she uses.  Sometimes she gets them correct, sometimes not.  I just want to remember it all.)

Gardening Convo

Me:  Carson, what did you learn in school today?

C:  Well, gardening.  Not the kind of gardens you eat.  FLOWER gardens.  There is a difference, Momma.

Me:  That sounds so fun!  Did you get to plant some things and be a gardener?

C:  (Sigh)  I did.  BUT...Ms. Debbie just started singing the clean up song and I didn't get much time for gardening today.  Maybe tomorrow I'll have a little bit more time.

Television Convo #1 (YES, I let my child watch television...probably way too much.)

Me:  Carson, what do you want to do?

C:  How 'bout watch a little Netflix?  But not on the big T.V.  Netflix on your computer.

Just cracks me up that technology comes so easy to little ones.  She can work the play/pause on Netflix on our computer and is a pretty great whiz on the iPhone.  She can pull up her own apps on her own and she also is figuring out the other apps.  She can get to the camera now and often asks for me to take a pic or a video "on ya phone".  Her favorite games to play on my phone are "Mouse" (a learning game hosted by a little grey teacher mouse) and ... Angry Birds.  Seriously y'all.  She's getting better, too!  When she misses she lets out a frustrated, "ARRRHHH!"  It's pretty much one of the funniest things I've ever encountered.

Television Convo #2

C:  Momma, can you please change the volume on my show.  I can't hear Wubbzy very clearly.

This sounds just way too grown up to me.  Where is my BABY?!

Just a Funny Misunderstanding

Me: Who’d you play with on the playground today at school?

Carson:  Well, lots of friends like Ana Kate.  We put sand on our shoes!  And I play with Amory and Peyton and Riley and Jake.   But boys are stinky.

Me:  Who else?

Carson:  Well, there were no godfathers. (This is what my ears heard.)

Me:  What?  Where’d you hear the word godfather?

Carson:  You know…(speaking very slowly now) God...our...father.

I still have no clue how that tied in to who she played with on the playground, but I got a good laugh.  Especially since her “father” comes out like “fadder”, making it sound Italian mob-esque. 

The Lord's Prayer

A few Sundays ago, our pastor showed a video clip of the cutest little Asian toddler you've ever seen reciting the Lord's Prayer.  She couldn't have been more than two years old.  So I got it in my mind that I would teach Carson.  We have all kinds of little prayers I've been reciting to her since she was little bitty...bedtime, mealtime, going to school, etc.  So I figured she could do it.  She did!  It took about a week, but now she can say the whole thing and gets very frustrated if she pauses and I try to help her along.  Independent, much?  I've NO clue where on earth that comes from. :)

Here is her version (I'll try to get a video clip up one day soon.  I’ve tried to put in the emphasis and inflection she uses.  It’s pretty hilarious!  There are no typos either.  The mistakes make me laugh a lot!) :

Our Fadder, who ART in heaven,

Hallowed be my name!

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done (Said very matter-of-fact with a nod of the head.)

On earf as it is in heaven.

Give us ‘dis day our daily bread

And forgive us our trespasses and those against us (This is her weakest line…big words for a three year old!)

Lead us NOT into mentation,

But deliver us from EVIL (Menacingly whispered with a very scrunched up face!)

For dine is the kingdom! And the power!  And the glory!

FOREVER AHHHMEN!!!

My favorite line is “hallowed me MY name”.  LOL!  I’m just so thankful that she has the very beginnings of understanding faith and Christ’s love.  If you ask her who loves her the most in the whole world, she quickly says, “Jesus!”  Love that.  One day not long ago in her bathtub she said, “Daddy, Jesus is in my heart.”  My prayer everyday that she will understand this more and more as she continues to grow.

That’s all for now.  Crazy girl.  She is full of surprises.  I wish my mind could remember it all!

Here's the Problem...

Photos.

This is my problem.  One little word...photos.  They are both my joy and my enemy.  Mostly joy...but today I'd like to focus on the thornier side of photos.  Can you tell I'm feeling a bit.....prickly....today???

Here is my deal.  I have an iPhone, I have a point & shoot, I have a nice new "good" camera.  I have so many photos running out of each device that I don't know whether to digitally organize them (goodbye hours and hours and HOURS of life), edit them (adios MORE hours), print them (hasta la vista money in my wallet) or keep them trapped (as they are now) on their little devices, take a nap and call it a day.

Let's go ahead and add company to misery and remind you that John also has an iPhone, as do my sister and mother.  And my mother is an AMAZING photographer, so we also have all the pics she takes.

Am I grateful for the memories?  ABSOLUTELY, yes.

Am I complaining?  ABSOLUTLEY, yes.

You see...here's the problem that sounds nothing like a problem.  I LOVE THEM ALL!  All three million and five of them.  Each picture is important.  Are they all frameworthy?  No.  I snapped this one just this morning :

Are they all great quality?  No, again.  Specimen #2, also taken this morning:

What's that?  You didn't see any pictures after I clearly was referring to a picture to follow? Duh!  Do you think I actually have a cord to download them when I need to?  Ha!  Just imagine:

Picture #1 - A picture of Carson's breakfast sandwich this morning.  Nutella on wheat with heart cutouts and colored sprinkles.  It was fabulous!  She didn't eat it... (Also...who puts a picture of a sandwich in a frame?)

Picture #2 - A picture of Carson's v-day cards.  Straight from Pinterest!  I'll post on Facebook later...so refer to my Facebook page to see the copied cuteness.  (Picture it being pretty fuzzy.)

Are they all important enough to find their way into a relevant and nicely chronological computer file?  Why, of course!  Just today, I'll have to add a new folder entitled "Valentine's Day 2012".  In it will be the two pics above (thank you, iPhone) and probably a blurry one of Carson with her V-Day goodies, too excited and hyped up on v-day candy to sit still.  I'll add it to the folder called "Valentine's Day", which is in another folder called "Holidays", which finds its little organized self in yet another folder called "Kennon Family"....sigh.  I find I have to double-click about a thousand times just to even FIND a picture because of all the folders.

Then there are great pics of great memories.  I'm sure I have about a thousand of them, but of course I won't be able to decide which picture deserves to represent this category and if I do, it will need to be pulled off one of our cameras, cropped, edited, etc.  It'll take hours! (Or at least 20 minutes.)

Then there is an entire category of pictures I take on a daily basis with my phone for one reason or another.  This accounts for roughly 80% of all iPhone pictures.  Here is a sampling of the last ten pics I took with my iPhone:

1.  A grad app.  I thought it was funny because it's for Sam Houston and I bound them with a purple paperclip as kind of a "last word".  I don't even care about college rivalries.  I didn't post it on Facebook because I thought it unprofessional and I have co-workers as friends.  Didn't send it to anyone via text because the purple paperclip looks pretty much black.  And really...was it even that funny to begin with?  Yet, did not delete it.

2.  A quote I snapped from my iPhone screen (via Facebook) : "When you come to the edge of all the light you know and are about to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen.  There will be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly."  ~ Barbara J. Winter
Now, I love this quote but it's a PICTURE of a quote.  So I'll have to tap it out and put it in my iPhone notes in the note labeled (go ahead and laugh at the OCDness of it all) "Quotes".  Have I done it yet?  No.

3.  A picture of a cookie bouquet for teachers.  Why I didn't just pin it is beyond me.

4.  Another quote.  I'm too quote-y for my own good.  "If you went running when you first started thinking about it, you'd be back by now."  (Nike Ad)  Ask me when was the last time I ran and I'll probably call you something mean in my head and visualize stuffing my face with a Snickers bar.

5.  Black Screen.  Probably taken by our newest family photographer, Carson.  :)  Why can I not delete it??  BeCAUSE...how cute is is that I can be flipping through my camera photos and see a black screen that makes me giggle because Carson is an iPhone whiz and knows how to open my camera app.  Deleting it would take away a mid-day random giggle.

6.  A picture of a text I sent.  No clue why.  Mostly likely an accidental snap.

7.  A picture of an Amazon screen showing that I successfully loaned my first Kindle book.  Sent to my friend Abbey so she'd see the directions.  EASY one to delete.  Why would I ever need that pic again?  I won't.  Did I delete?  Sigh...

8.  Picture of me in those ridiculous oversized clown glasses from Carson's carnival party.  I was home sick yesterday and Carson found her entertainment by making me wear them.  However, my hair is nasty, I've no make up on and I look about as sick as I felt...so most definitely not blog or Facebook worthy.  Sent it to my mom, who I'm sure thought, "Ew.  She needs to wash her hair!"

9. Another pic of me in the glasses, closer up.  Because what's better than a sick, make-up-less and greasy haired  woman in clown glasses?  A CLOSE UP of said woman.  I shudder.

10.  This one's a two-fer.  A picture of the Valentine's day breakfast sandwich and Carson's V-day cards from above.

Clearly, this is the stuff of life and all of these pictures are folder-worthy.  Are you starting to see my problem?
And that's just that last ten eleven.  There are 342 pics currently on my phone and that's only because the other 999 were moved to a folder on my computer called "Sort Through These Later...iPhone".  Go ahead and ask if I've sorted.  Where does one put three black screens of a photo?  A folder called "Accidentally Taken by Carson...Age 3".  I have a problem.  Obviously.

So why the rant about photos this morning?  I have a blank wall in my living room, ready to be made beautiful by an amazing canvas of Carson I got for Christmas.  Can I decide which photos to canvas-ize along side of it to make a nice gallery wall?  You know the answer, don't you?

I also have about ten (okay, twenty thirty) beautiful frames at home with lovely smiling people in them...that I've never met because they are the paper pictures that come in the frames when you buy them.  I CANNOT DECIDE WHAT TO PUT IN THEM!  Add to that the five or six in my office with the same problem.

I really am about to get to my point...

I don't blog regularly because of photos.  Although I have never read the official mom-blog rule book, I'm pretty sure somewhere in it says, "Commandment #8...Thou shalt not simply WRITE a post.  All blog entries must include at least one picture of your children and at least one of some amazing mom thing you did so you can wow other moms."  So for fear of breaking a mom-blog commandment...I take the easy way out and don't post at all.

The downside?  I've missed out on recording some GREAT family memories all because I'm worried that my writing them down isn't enough.  Who will want to just READ about it (other than my mom and dad...HI mom and dad!) without photos?  Insecurities of a mom...  And really, what does it matter?  I'm writing this for my family and for our future generations to see.  Perspective, Lindsey...get some perspective.

So I declare today PHOTO FREEDOM day.  :)  No need to always have a cute matching picture to go along with my blog.  Tomorrow...family post with NO PICTURES.

After all ... Memories are made of more than this.

Sometimes You Just Gotta Do Life...

Well, friends (and family)...I just looked at the last picture I posted in October and let me just say...unless you keep up with us on Facebook you will soon be in utter shock at the changes in our Carson!  I could just tear up looking at the last post I made and my sweet baby still looks like a baby!  We've just been busy doing life here in the Kennon household.  Leaves not much time for blogging, but hey...I'll make up for it over the rest of the summer!

As Carson will VERY quickly tell you these days...she is most definitely NOT a baby anymore.  She is a big girl.  Big girl.  Wow.  In her two (and a half...which she is also very quick to tell you!) short years, we've come to realize that what everyone warns new parents about is 100% true.  They grow up too fast.  Ever so often she will do something or say something that catapults me into years unseen...Kindergarten, teenager driving years, graduation...thinking much beyond that can literally send me to bed for days in hopes of suspending time.

I don't have much in the way of pictures to post this evening.  That will take a lot of sorting and getting pictures off my mom's fabulous camera.  For now, I just wanted to make a quick update to get us rolling for the rest of the summer.  (Can you tell I now have time on my hands?  I just posted my grades for the Summer I session so I'm FREE for weeks!  WAHOO!)

What has the Kennon Family been up to?  Well...as I type this I am basking in the nice new air being blown out of our nice new air conditioner!  The time finally came to bite the bullet and get a new unit.  Last summer it was a new transmission, this summer a new A/C.  I'm almost afraid to keep working summer school because it seems the money I make during the summer repays our savings after disaster strikes :)  (I am so thankful that God takes care of us in this way, though!)

Also as I speak, Carson is walking by me on tippy-toes declaring, "I am a beautiful swan!"  Where she gets this stuff is just beyond me.  She is, as of late, saying things like "Mommy you look just fabulous!" and "Daddy, you need to apologize to me!  You were rude and hurt-a my feelings!" That last one is typically uttered with hands on hips and the start of a "teacher voice".  Yes, she is my child. 

Carson's imagination has taken off and is on a wild, wild ride.  We are venturing into the realm of imaginary friends and just the other day I was scolded for almost stepping on Morris.  "Who is Morris?!"  "Uh!  Momma, Morris is a bunny and you almost hurting him!"  Morris is preceeded in our family by many other new friends that come and go.  One constant that has stuck around is our very own imaginary ant, PeePee.  PeePee started out as a girl but we have learned her super power...changing gender and color.  No matter...he/she comes with us everywhere we go and does everything we do.  And yes, PeePee has even been blamed for things such as crayon artwork on mom and dad's bedroom wall............ahhhhh PeePee the Ant.  There is a fish (unnamed) that shows up, oddly enough, only when we eat at a restaurant.  He's always getting stuck under the table. 

Don't you want to come visit us?!  LOL!

She just ventured by again and said, "Momma, something is the wrong with my juice.  It smells strawberry-ish."  Seriously.  My life is so fun right now! 

John is working outside right now with my dad and Lee (Sarah's boyfriend) in his shop.  He has framed out a room as a music room in our outside shop.  Electrical is going in today.  Sometime this week is insulation and sheet rock.  :)  His man cave.

In my world...I've started another hobby.  As if I had time for any of the others I already "do"!  I've started sewing :)  I'm hoping to venture into my first quilt next week.  If you don't hear much from me in this area in the remainder of the summer...it probably isn't going well.  Ha! 

What else....my sister is texting me right now.  As of today, she is 100% a NURSE!  We are so proud of her!  She passed her big state exam to become a registered nurse.  Wahoo!!!  She now has letters after her name, which is always exciting.  Sarah Russell, RN BSN.  She has been working now for about a month at Lufkin Memorial ICU and is in love with her job!  However, her texts today were less excitement and more sadness.  She lost a patient today.  I just don't know how her heart handles this loss, especially since she is on a career path that will bring death to her on a daily basis.  But my sister is AMAZING.  She views her job in ICU as her personal mission field, bringing comfort to patients and their families during the darkest days they face this side of heaven.  How she does it, I don't know.  Well...yes I do.  God has gifted her.  She is a marvel to me and an inspiration.

Other than all that, we've just kind of been enjoying our summer and resting up!  August will be here all too soon but until then, the livin' is easy :)

Here's our most recent family picture...Easter 2011

PS - Since this picture I've lost approx. 20 pounds :)  I've also taken up running and ran my first 5K last month.  I'll post on that and our other goings-on in posts to come.  School's out for SUMMER!  I'll be posting more very soon!



We're Baaaa-ack! :)

Welp...it's abundantly clear that I'm not a faithful blogger once the school semester begins.  I'm just going to accept it and move on.  LOL!  I think time should freeze during the months of August - October.  They are our busiest and craziest months out of the year.  BUT...I HAVE been taking pictures and jotting some things down here and there to add to our blog when I ever was able to tunnel out of our back-to-school hole and find time again.  I uploaded this set of pictures about a month ago!  It was my attempt to catch up and now I have an entire new set of pictures and stories to match that I need to catch up on.  The OCD me would need to delete all of these pictures and start afresh in chronological order, each event with its separate post.  The REAL LIFE me knows there's no time for that...so here we go.  A brief update with more to come later...hopefully sooner than later but I'm not making any promises! ;)

Using Aunt SaSa as a Jungle Gym :)  She loves to "side" (=slide) on Sarah's legs. 

(Can anyone say leg burn???!!!  Hairy and scary!  LOL!  LOVE YOU SARAH!!!  HAHAHA!)

One Sweet Night

Giving Kisses to Daddy Between the Slats of Her Bed...Sweetness

We are VERY into "bo-bo's" and bandaids as of late.  I can't even remembers this picture now (sad :( ) but I THINK this was a real bo-bo.  Probably what started the entire infatuation with bandaids to begin with!  Not sure what the flag was all about...

Carson and Mommy went to the circus!!!  This was in late August (I think...geez!) and I was excited to introduce Carson to cotton candy and the circus itself.  It was H-O-T in the Expo Center and I must say I have a new outlook on circuses now.  I suppose this was my first one to attend as an adult and what I used to think was magical and cool I now think is smelly, dirty and a little bit (okay...a LOT) weird. 

Mind you, this was NOT an all-star circus!  LOL!  It was a very tiny one with very B-list circus acts/people.  Nevertheless, it had everything a circus should...three rings, lots of trained animals, fire hoops with various things/people/animals jumping through them, juggling, motorcycles in a sphere, trapezing, and COTTON CANDY! :)  We lasted through the first half and left at intermission since Carson didn't really seem too into it.  Ha!  Here are a few snaps from our brief and hot circus experience...

She was much more interested in the cardboard handle than she was in the cotton candy itself. 

She was not a fan.

See?  Told ya.

Her expression here says it all..."Okay mom, I humored you by coming here in the first place.  Do we HAVE to take a picture, too???  Come ON!"

Watching for a Second

(No...she didn't suddenly like the cotton candy.  Yes...I ate it.  Hush.)

One thing Carson DID love at the circus was, of course, the e'phants!  Carson still loves elephants oh so much and I'd promised her we'd see one.  I was getting worried the first half of the circus when none were appearing, but we met this one during intermission.  She thought he was neat!

Does this really need a caption????!!!!

Carson still isn't much of a sweet eater but she did discover popsicles this summer and is very much a popsicle lady now!  I just love the way she's propped up on her knee.  So cute!

Fun with Breakfast

Playing with Her "Write-Write" with JuJu

Okay, these next few pics I started to take out, but I do want to remember it.  Soooo.... about a month or two ago I heard a chirp in our garage.  The garage door was open so I just figured it was a bird in the tree right outside.  I went out and in a few times and realized it was way too loud of a chirp to be outside, but shut the garage door anyway.  THEN the chirp echoed and I knew we had a squatter in bird form in our garage.  This is what I found...

...a lost baby bird in front of my car on the floor of the garage!

Now, here is the part you'd expect someone to say, "Awwwww!  A baby bird, how sweet!"  Ummm, no.  I've pretty much made it abundantly clear throughout my life that nature really isn't my thing.  Birds REALLY aren't my thing.  I don't like birds.  I admit it and I'm not ashamed! :P  They are creepy and weird and I just don't like them.  I'm not AFRAID of them like I am lizards (*shiver!*) but I still would rather they stay out of my house.  So, I commissioned John for bird removal when he got home.  In the 15 minutes or so between when I found the bird and when John came home, that bird didn't move an inch and I would have thought it was dead but it was blinking its eyes.  See what I mean???  Creepy.

Can't see her...but the momma bird was having a COW up in this tree.

This was HILARIOUS.  This momma bird let the baby bird have it big time!  She gave a LONG and LOUD chirpy lecture while dancing and hopping in circles all around this bird.  At certain intervals, the baby bird would try a chirp and the momma would start in even louder.  Too. Funny.

Found a sibling bird a little bit later...

So ends the bird story.  The birds were gone after a few hours...hope they made it :)

MUCHHHHHH more has happened in the last couple of months (well, three) than just birds.  I'll be updating more soon!  I feel better getting a couple more memories in writing for now.  Slow and steady wins the race, right? :)

Before I close, I have to get down in writing that we are on ROUND TWO of potty training (started last week) and I'm exhausted but happy.  More to come on our potty journey...

Night, night!

Carson Meets 'chool!!! (=SCHOOL!)

Here’s what you were up to today…

~ At this very moment, you are sticking your hands through the slots on the back of the chair and tickling my hiney, complete with tickle noises and laughter :)

~ You got my iPhone this morning and clicked the home button on. Your picture is on my home screen. You said, “Ahhhh….Carson!” Then you looked at me, pointed to yourself and said, “I Carson!” I have a feeling you’ll be introducing yourself to others this way all the time. Cute.

~ You ate cereal like a big girl this morning…with milk and cheerios in a bowl and eating with a spoon. You didn’t get too messy either. Growing, growing, growing.

~ You now follow my instructions and/or requests about 99% of the time. Usually on the first or second request you’ll obey. If you’re doing something or have something that you’re REALLY into that you don’t need to be…you’re a bit more hesitant. But I add, “right now” to the end of my request and you obey. Good job!

~ I thought you were going to fall asleep on your own today at nap time! We were changing you right before nap and you layed down from the sitting position straight forward on your changing table. You were so tired! But no…you still would not lay there and go to sleep on your own. I had to rub your back and head. It didn’t take you long at all though! This new schedule thing is going great! You seem to be hungry and tired right when needed. This makes me feel soooo much better going into preschool next week!

~ You had a little secret fun with the TP again today…

~ I love how you end everything with, “Pees, Mommy!” or “Thank you Mommy!” Unprompted, no less. Manners…check. :) We are currently working on “ma’am” and “sir”. You say “excuse me” often, too. Mostly you say it when something or someone is in your way, which is good. But you’re also starting to say it when you burp or when someone else does. Oh dear… Oh, and you are also starting to say “bless you” when someone sneezes. I’m trying to teach you to cover your mouth when you sneeze…so far, no luck. Haha!

~ You are starting to be able to be reasoned with! Yay! Today at lunch, you pointed to the treat jar in the kitchen wanting a brownie. I said, “Eat a bite of apple first.” You did! “Eat a bite of pepper (bell pepper, by the way).” You did. “Eat a grape.” You did! “Eat a bite of pizza.” You did. “Eat a carrot.” You did! Then you’d had enough… “Pees, Mommy?” Okay! Yay!!! I think you understood that I was asking you to do something before I gave you what you wanted!

~ You are now singing along to ALL songs. I must say, I’m rather impressed. You know nearly ALL the words WITH us (unprompted) to Elmo’s World and Twinkle Twinkle. Close seconds are Itsy Bitsy, Jesus Loves Me, Jesus Loves the Little Children and Happy Birthday.

~ “Kitty, eat it. Mine!” This is what you came in the kitchen and told me after the cat had stolen your snack cup! You put your little hands up and flopped them back down to your sides, as if to say, “Well dang it!” :) We got you a new cup and fresh snack. All was well. You tattled on the kitty! LOL! She IS being a bad kitty as of late. She has NEVER tried to eat people food and all of a sudden we are finding her on counters and she is acting crazy. Sibling rivalryish??? Haha!

~ Meet the Teacher was tonight! We met your teacher Ms. Kalena (who is also our next door neighbor!) and Ms. Hailey. I didn’t get a pic of you with Ms. Kalena…she had her hands full with parents, parents, parents! It was pretty hectic with everyone coming in and out, but you played with toys and read books. You met a few new friends. I think the noise and the overall busy-ness of a classroom is something you’ll have to get used to, but you’re going to do great! You didn’t want to leave! You’d found some play cupcakes and were sad to leave them. You say, “chool!!” for school and I think you are excited. Again, you are remarkably adaptable! You’ve met several new people this week and been in many new situations. You’ve done sooooo great! You’re even remembering people’s names!

You've met your friend Emmy before... you were just tiny when you did! :)

The lady to your left is Ms. Hailey.

Of course, you found the book center right away :)

~ Airplanes! Tonight after bathtime, you, Daddy and I played airplane for a long time. You spread your little arms out to your side and say, “Chhhrrrrrrr!” and fly around the room. Aaaaaa-dorable.

~ “Daddy! Home!” You miss your Daddy! He’s been working some crazy long hours and you only saw him for 30 minutes yesterday :( You both are sad about it. Tonight when you heard him come in the door you smiled a HUGE smile and said, “Daddy! Home!” Awwww…

~ I’m realizing more and more how VERY much you watch us and pay attention to us. I vacuumed the living room this morning. I had the vacuum unplugged, with the cord rolled up in the middle of the living room when I was done. I walked to the kitchen and back real quick and you had your foot up on the foot pedal to turn it on. This reminds me of another song from my childhood… and is my new mantra to remind me to watch my actions, my words, how I treat others, how I react…EVERYTHING…

Oh be careful little eyes what you see,

Oh be careful little eyes what you see!

For the Father up Above is looking down with love,

So be careful little eyes what you see.

And the others, we will have to constantly be watching…

Oh be careful little ears what you hear!

Oh be careful little mouth what you say!

Oh be careful little hands what you do!

Oh be careful little heart who you trust…

Hope everyone is having a great Back to School week! :)